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6. What do you do differently now, when you argue with a woman? Which violence avoidance techniques have proven effective?

B: "My girlfriend and my children are still at the women's shelter. I have regular contact with them. When we speak to one another, I make an effort to stay calm. I accept the current situation and also that my girlfriend still needs time to work through all that's happened."

C: "I have more to say about myself, to confide and share about myself, and above all I focus on the problem of the moment. I now have the courage to admit that I don't know what to do next. I no longer fight until the bitter end like I used to."

D: "I approach problems right away, and don't repress them. That makes arguing simpler, because it is only about a single issue. I focus my attention on the parameters, which is to say I focus on the place, time or my own issues. If I notice that a fight is escalating, then I break it off. When things have quieted down, the problem can be discussed again. Also, I don't always have to be right."

E: "At the moment, I only have theoretical knowledge. I can't put it into practical use, because my wife doesn't want to have anything to do with me."

F: "I no longer feel responsible for her arguments and actions. That takes the fire out of the argument. I try to comically exaggerate my situation, to imitate the comedian Loriot. When it gets serious, I say how I'm feeling."

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